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It is my personal opinion that the most beautiful women on the planet come from two places: Spain and Italy (my wife is half Spanish). When I first went to Italy I had images of the Old Italian grandmother with the giant moles, facial hair, and bushy armpits dressed in the all black dress (thanks to the Godfather movie stereotype).

Granted, some of those women existed, but it's a dying breed. The new Italian woman is modern and a bit westernized. Most Italian women shave their legs and armpits, but there are a few who don't. The few Italian women that I dated that did not shave their armpits was, surprisingly, not a turn off. When between the sheets it didn't matter if they had hair under their arms or not. Of course in the long run, the shaved armpit was sexier.

The two countries that I had a harder time finding beautiful women (I'm basing this on the Marilyn Monroe standard, of course) were Germany and England. There are beautiful women there, but not at a high proportion based on per capita, unlike Italy and Spain where the per capita percentage of beautiful women is much higher.

Admittedly, deodorant is not "all that" in many European countries, but you get used to that after a few weeks. There are many Europeans that use deodorant, but you know quickly who doesn't when you're on the train or bus. LOL

One thing you have to avoid when going to countries like these is to come across as a cocky and arrogant American. Take the time and effort to learn a bit of the language and culture. If you make the effort you will be treated with more respect and they'll appreciate you (yes, even in France).

Every country that I went to I tried to learn the basic language (hi, bye, how are you, what's your name, how much is this, where's the bathroom, etc.) and the first place I went when I hit the ground was a local clothing store to buy local clothing (even in the Middle East). I got as far away from my fellow Americans as I could.

I did this because all they wanted to do was get drunk and hit the strip clubs. Okay, the strip clubs in most European countries are WAY better than American ones, but I can get drunk and see naked women any time. I'm in a new country with so much to experience. I traveled all over, to cities, small towns, rural areas, etc. I went hiking and explored the countryside. I visited ruins and explored ancient cities. My fellow sailors had fun for a few hours before vomiting in the berthing trashcan - I had fun 24/7 (okay, there were a few incidents, but we won't get into that). Their souvenirs were stained clothes and smelly breath - my souvenirs were memories that will last a lifetime.

Here's a hint for you Texas boys: when traveling overseas leave your dinner plate buckles and cowboy hat at home. If you wear those overseas you might as well wear a t-shirt with a bulls eye painted on it that says "Terrorist strike here."

Since Americans are sexually frustrated (thank to leftover Puritanism, Victorianism, and an insistent hypocrisy by the Religious Right) please make sure you make an extra effort not to ogle and drool when visiting the topless and nude beaches. It's rude and it makes the women uncomfortable. They are topless and nude because it is natural and beautiful and not seen as something sexual. When drooling Americans arrive on the beach they put their clothes back on because their natural beauty has become a sexual perversion and it makes them uncomfortable. The American women had a hard time at the beaches because they had the wrong view of sexuality ingrained into them with their American upbringing. Luckily a few of them got over it and decided that nudity was natural and not always sexual. Good for them!

NEVER tell an Italian girl, "Que bella!" (How beautiful) While it may seem appropriate from American standards, it is actually an insulting phrase because it is associated with prostitution.

Oh yeah, in Greece an outward exposed open palm toward someone is the same thing as flipping someone off in America - so don't throw your palm out to stop traffic like we do in the United States. LOL

Here’s something I learned in the Middle East (Oh yeah, there are very good looking women in Middle Eastern countries). Unlike the silliness that “President” Bush espouses, they DON’T hate us for our freedom. They actually admire our freedoms and most of them like our culture. They don’t hate America or Americans (exceptions provided for, of course). What they hate is our foreign policy. Who can blame them? We’ve been screwing the Middle East since the Treaty of Tripoli.

I had a wonderful time in every Middle Eastern country that I visited and the people were wonderful. I never felt threatened at all (I’m only talking about the times I was a tourist. Sorry, I can’t get into the military stuff.). When a Muslim said something about American foreign policy I would agree with them (even if I didn’t). This made me their best friend. We would talk about foreign policy and I learned a lot from them about how Washington decisions affect the daily lives of Middle Easterners.

Then they would want to know what life in America was like. When talking to them you sensed a bit of envy in some cases. Rarely would I describe American life and find a Muslim that was repulsed (granted, I didn’t hang out in places where the Fundamentalists did). They were curious and wanted to know more. They knew quotes from movies and knew our actors/actresses and they loved Levis and Old Navy.

So if you’re traveling overseas here are my country recommendations based on what you’re looking for:

Party Central: Gibraltar
Ruins and Ancient civilization: Turkey, Italy, and Greece (in that order)
Food: Italy
Women: Spain and Italy
Culture: Egypt

Ciao, mi amici

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In reason,
RM1 Scott, USN (Ret)
=BBH=Reverend